Ramadan is a few days away. And if I am blessed, Allah will allow me to witness what will be my third Ramadan. I am excited as I am nervous. Excited for the purification, for the opportunity to get closer to Allah SWT, for a chance to discipline my soul. I am resolving to blog more.
You can say I’m stepping out of my shell, this nest that I’ve necessarily crafted around myself. I am reinserting myself out into the universe though I am probably more comfortable being MIA, unnoticed. Yet, I feel some need to reclaim and redefine myself fully and wholly. I have relationships in my past that are worthy of being brought to my present. Friendships that I’m not sure where it will go.
My lifestyle attempting to please my Lord surprisingly is problematic for the majority of society. I stand now unafraid and unapologetic of who I am. I can believe and hope and love what I love.
So how do I return and balance these items suspended somehow above my head. No doubt, my experiences as a convert, as an introvert, as a practicing African American, college-educated Muslim is different very different from the majority of Muslims I’ve met. In these realizations I’ve often responded with my normal MO of isolation and contemplation. How difficult it is to maintain your identity amongst hundreds of others.
I have no idea where I’m headed. And at 22, honestly, it’s just unappealing half of the worries running through my head. Young but old in spirit. I’ll be blogging more inshAllah. I’m back out. Or back in.
I’m full circle back where I’ve left but a changed person, no doubt.